4th Cry

Anywhere is paradise; it's up to you.  ~Author Unknown

Until today, I have only cried 3 times since my diagnosis of breast cancer on February 2, 2011 – twice back at the beginning of February when Kenny said something the “wrong way” to me.  I don’t even remember what he said – it was something trivial and insignificant both times.  Mind you, it was really just that I was extremely emotional and sensitive during that timeframe; he really didn’t say anything wrong.  The flood gates were just waiting to burst – the slightest “breach” would cause them to come crashing open – and they did.  The third cry was during my encounter with, and all the way home from the office of, the tactless and insensitive oncologist (whom I subsequently fired from my medical team). 

Today was my 4^th breach of the flood gates.  It was just more than I could handle saying goodbye to Mom and Freeland prior to their departure (by car) to Maine and then dropping Nancy off at the Orlando airport to fly home to San Diego.  So I cried all the way home from the airport.  Since I had a lymphatic therapy session after dropping Nancy off, I had to stop at McDonald’s and run in the restroom to wash my face so I would look somewhat presentable for therapy.  The therapy session was relatively mild – not too much massage due to my tenderness/pain from the port installation.  She gave me some more exercises to add to my repertoire and talked about the compression sleeve that I need to order. 

It has been raining ALL day today – very gloomy – and it’s supposed to continue for most of the week.  But we had a fantastic 10 days when Mom, Freeland, and Nancy were here.  The weather was absolutely fabulous, and we had such a nice, relaxing, fun time together.  Last night we went to Fishlips in Port Canaveral for wine and appetizers and watched 3 of the cruise ships depart for sea.  And we rounded out our last night with – guess what?! – Mexican Train and 4-handed cribbage! 

This will be a busy work week for me but at least I don’t have too many appointments – one more lymphatic therapy session on Thursday.  Next week I start the “poison” phase of my treatment regimen – chemo starts on Friday, April 8^th.  I’m not looking forward to it – dreading it is more like it –  but I guess I’ve resigned myself to the fact that that’s the route I am going.

Time to take a break from the computer, have some dinner, read a book, and go to bed early.