You know you're a cancer patient when........

You know you’re a cancer patient when……you stand naked in front of a long mirror and embrace your wrinkles...scars...[lack of boobs and hair]….and body changes....because you are just soooo grateful to be alive.

Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears.  ~Arthur Koestler

Somebody in one of my online support groups shared a link the other day to “You know you’re a cancer patient when…..”   It’s kind of a takeoff on the “You know you’re a redneck when…..”  Anyway, I can really relate to many (most?) of the things written there (92 pages of quotes!), so I’ve decided to start incorporating them into my blog, along with the daily “inspirational” quote.  The cancer patient ones might only have meaning to me….and/or perhaps people who have been on this journey….I dunno…..but I’m going to try it out.

Right now I’m sitting in the “chemo suite” getting drip #4.  Smooth sailing so far.  I’ll be a third of the way through this regimen after today – a light at the end of the tunnel?? 

I’m a little tired today but feeling good otherwise.  I didn’t sleep well last night because I decided to read my book for about an hour before going to sleep – nothing unusual about that.  It’s just that the main character was just diagnosed with breast cancer and is now dying from metastasis to the brain.  Couldn’t it have been lung cancer or any other kind of cancer?  Needless to say, it wasn’t the sweet bedtime story I needed to be reading right before lights out.  I originally bought the book because I thought it would be easy, lighthearted, mindless reading.  Had I known that’s what awaited me at the end, I definitely wouldn’t have bought the book.  At any rate, instead of counting sheep last night, my mantra was “This is a book of fiction.  This is not a true story.  This will not be my story.  This is a book of fiction.  This is not a true story.  This will NOT be my story…..”  I just kept repeating it over and over again until I eventually fell asleep, although it wasn’t a very restful night.  I finally got up at 4:00 a.m. to get some of my transcription done.  One good thing is that I seem to have some “disease” or “syndrome” that doesn’t allow me to remember a book or a movie 3 days after I’ve read or seen it!  So this book (I think) will be gone from the memory bank 3 days after I finish it…..if I even dare to finish it.  Oh, I have to finish it.  I just won’t read it right before bed.

I managed to get my “workout” in this morning – after the transcription and before the chemo appointment.  Did a 30-minute walk, followed by a bike ride, followed by 50 laps in the pool – 40 swimming and 10 walking.  Wanted to do the stairstepper, too, but ran out of time.

Kenny made it back from Jacksonville this morning – the dogs and I were very happy to see him.  He’s pretty exhausted from working on the boat and trailer in the wicked heat and humidity, but it sounds like he’s making progress.  Hope to bring the boat down the intracoastal waterway to Merritt Island next week.  Still working out the details on everything.      

It seems to me there were some other things I had planned to write about today, but I’ll be darned if I can remember what they were.  I guess I’ll just have to save them for the next post.  As always, I LOVE all your blog comments and emails and phone calls and cards and gifts and love and support and positive thoughts.  Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts!  HUGS to everybody!