One down, 11 to go........

Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions.  – Dalai Lama

Had my appointment with Dr. Sprawls (onco) today followed by Taxotere #1.  One down, 11 more to go.  Everything went smoothly except for the fact that my appointment to see Dr. Sprawls was at 10:00 (we arrived at 9:50), and he finally came in the room at 11:35!!  I was very frustrated and grouchy by then – an hour and a half behind schedule at 10:00 in the morning??!!  Fortunately, he’s a really nice guy, and he managed to cheer me up before the visit was over.  Ken had already left at 11:10 – there was just no point in both of us wasting our day sitting around waiting.  So he went home to do the laundry, only to find the washing machines were all full.  Anyway, my “numbers” were good enough to start the next batch of “poison,” and I’m feeling fine so far.  Hopefully it will continue.  I’m not looking forward to these weekly visits, especially the ones that are preceded by an appointment with Dr. Always Late.  I asked him if I had to see him every time, and he said, “Not every time but next time for sure.”  And then probably every other time.  Just gotta bite the bullet.

Hope everyone had a nice 4^th of July weekend.  Ours was nice and relaxing.  On Sunday, we went to the beach at Canaveral National Seashore.  We debated going because we thought it might be too crowded, but it really wasn’t bad at all, and we’re so glad we went.  It was a beautiful day, and we sat under our umbrella for awhile and watched several people riding the surf in kayaks.  It was really entertaining – they had some really good rides and some really incredible flips, too.  Then we went in for some swimming and boogie boarding – great fun.  I took a beating on one wave – finally came to the surface and found one of my foobs (fake boobs) had popped out and was churning around in the surf!  Then my bandana fell off.  So there I was bald and semi-boobless – and Ken and I were laughing hysterically!  Could hardly stand up!  Snatched the foob up and stuffed it back in my bathing suit (only to find out after I got home that it was upside down!).  Anyway, it was a fun afternoon at the beach.

On Monday, our good friends, Debbie and Bill, called and asked us if we wanted to take a ride over to St. Cloud to check out the 4^th of July celebration they were having on the lakefront.  It was a nice ride – out in the country – about an hour from here.  They had all kinds of booths/vendors, live music, demonstrations, etc. all along the lake.  So we walked around there for a bit – it was very hot but fun.  We had lunch at a place called Crabby Bill’s – sat outside overlooking the lake – very nice.

On Tuesday, we decided to go to the beach again.  Got almost all the way out to Canaveral Nat’l Seashore, only to find out the beach was closed!  We knew they closed it a day or 2 ahead of the launch, but 3 days??!!  What a disappointment.  And you would think they could put a sign out at the beginning of the road saying it was closed.  But no, they let you get almost all the way out to the beach before you find out it’s closed.  So we turned around and headed in the totally opposite direction and went to the beach in Cape Canaveral (near Cocoa Beach).  The first 2 parking areas we tried were full, and we were getting really discouraged by that point.  Lucked out at the 3^rd parking lot – a car was pulling out, so we pulled in.  More boogie boarding and fun in the surf!  And yes, I lost another foob!  Well, I found it being tossed around in the surf again, so it wasn’t totally lost.  Guess I need to invest in one of those bathing suits with built-in pockets for foobs – just hate to spend the money, though.  I think they’re around $80-100, and my swimsuit was only $15 at Walmart.  And it provides great hilarity and entertainment when my foobs pop out! 

I have really been enjoying my relatively stress-free week.  It’s nice to “sleep in” – almost made it to 7:00 a.m. one morning!  And it’s nice not to have a ton of work hanging over my head.  I did end up with a little bit of work because Jill didn’t finish her dictation last Thursday, but that’s okay – it’s only a few hours, and the little bit of income helps because with this job no work means no pay.  Nevertheless, I am enjoying the freedom this week. 

Ken really helps minimize my stress level, too.  He has been so supportive and helpful during this whole rotten journey we have been on.  He has totally stepped up to the plate and does a lot of the cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, ALL of the dishes, most of the cleaning, takes the dogs out 3-4 times a day, and drives and/or accompanies me to almost all of my boring appointments.  There is no way I could survive this ordeal without him!  He asked me the other day if I was still writing my blog.  I answered, “Sure am.  Are you reading it?”  He said, “No, I’m living it!”  Ain’t that the truth!  Life as he knew it has changed so much, too.  It’s all about my appointments and how I’m feeling now.  Luckily we can mix a little fun in, too, though – like going to the beach and visiting with friends, etc.

I’m feeling really good and still maintaining a positive attitude.  But I have to tell you a story about a neighbor of ours here at the campground.  He was an older guy – seemed kinda lonely – and he came over to our picnic table a couple of weeks ago when we were sitting outside visiting with Robin and Bunny.  He looked at me and said, “You have cancer, don’t you?”  I guess he astutely figured that out by my bald (although I had a bandana on) and boobless condition.  He proceeded to tell me that his wife died of breast cancer in October.  She was in the hospital for 5 months before she died.  Etc. etc.  I’m really not sure why people feel the need to tell people who are battling the disease about “failures.”  I told him I was sorry for his loss.  And I really wanted to tell him that if the story doesn’t have a happy ending, I don’t want to hear it.  People just don’t seem to understand that when you are on this particular journey, it is not helpful to us for them to share their sadness.  I know it’s a fact, and my heart aches for all the people who have lost loved ones to cancer, but I’m bound and determined to beat it, and I can’t handle hearing about the people who lost the battle……especially to breast cancer.  At this stage of the game, I need to hear the success stories and the stories with happy endings.  And the plan is for my story to have a happy ending!! 

So, on that note, I will sign off for today and go sit outside, enjoy the breeze and scenery, and read a book for a little while.  LOTS OF HUGS TO EVERYBODY!