The reality of it all......

Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.  – Unknown

 Well, I can’t believe another 4+ months have elapsed since I last wrote in my blog.  I guess I just haven’t felt “inspired.”  I would like to believe that old adage “no news is good news,” but I’m really not sure if that’s true in this case.  Oh, I suppose it is to a certain extent.  Every day I’m alive is good news, and I’m thankful for that.  But I have to admit that some days I just feel so crappy I feel like crawling into a hole.  Today is one of those days.  So why am I writing in my blog when I feel so crappy?!  I dunno.  I can’t answer that question.  I guess I just feel like writing about “reality,” and the reality is that I have good days and bad days.  Some days (a lot of days) I feel so good that I really can’t even believe I have stage IV cancer – like, certainly that diagnosis must be wrong!  Other days (like today) are quite the opposite.  Don’t worry, though, I’m sure I’ll get feeling better as the day goes on.

Last time I wrote (back in March), I had just started radiation, started Zometa infusions again, and I was waiting to hear from the pharmaceutical companies about patient assistance with the wickedly expensive drugs Dr. Sprawls wanted me to start.  I finished the radiation but unfortunately didn’t see much benefit from it.  I’m doing the Zometa infusions monthly – they’re painless really, and hopefully they are doing some good – what IS a pain is that they have SUCH a hard time finding a vein for the IV.  It usually takes 3-4 tries, they usually end up in the back of the hand, and then I can’t move my (right) hand/arm for the entire infusion (roughly 2 hours) for fear the needle will pop out of the vein.  It’s minor, really.  I guess I’m just in a “whiny, complainy” mood today.  As for the drugs – good news there – I was approved for patient assistance/compassionate need from both pharma companies and am getting both drugs free for a year! 

Some more good/bad news – last time I had my blood drawn (at the end of June), one of my tumor markers had gone down (yay!), but the other one had gone up…..again (boo!).  I have another blood draw at the end of this month, and of course I’m HOPING for good news – I HOPE they both went down!  I have an appointment with Dr. Sprawls on 8/29.

And yet some more good news – we traded our Subaru (manual transmission) in on a Ford Focus (automatic transmission), and I think getting rid of all that shifting has helped my hip quite a bit.  This past week we also moved to a different campground – one with a swimming pool – and I’ve been doing self-imposed pool therapy/exercises daily, which seems to be helping significantly.  After only 3 days, I’m walking much better – still limping, still have pain, and still can’t do long distances – but there is definite improvement. 

Okay folks, I guess I’m done rambling for today.  Sorry I’m not in a very cheery mood today, but I’m very optimistic it will get better.  Have no fear, most of the time I’m still upbeat, positive, hopeful, and optimistic.  

One day at a time……live life to the fullest…….and enjoy every moment!