Saturday, August 9, 2014

The reality of it all......


Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.  – Unknown

 Well, I can’t believe another 4+ months have elapsed since I last wrote in my blog.  I guess I just haven’t felt “inspired.”  I would like to believe that old adage “no news is good news,” but I’m really not sure if that’s true in this case.  Oh, I suppose it is to a certain extent.  Every day I’m alive is good news, and I’m thankful for that.  But I have to admit that some days I just feel so crappy I feel like crawling into a hole.  Today is one of those days.  So why am I writing in my blog when I feel so crappy?!  I dunno.  I can’t answer that question.  I guess I just feel like writing about “reality,” and the reality is that I have good days and bad days.  Some days (a lot of days) I feel so good that I really can’t even believe I have stage IV cancer – like, certainly that diagnosis must be wrong!  Other days (like today) are quite the opposite.  Don’t worry, though, I’m sure I’ll get feeling better as the day goes on.

Last time I wrote (back in March), I had just started radiation, started Zometa infusions again, and I was waiting to hear from the pharmaceutical companies about patient assistance with the wickedly expensive drugs Dr. Sprawls wanted me to start.  I finished the radiation but unfortunately didn’t see much benefit from it.  I’m doing the Zometa infusions monthly – they’re painless really, and hopefully they are doing some good – what IS a pain is that they have SUCH a hard time finding a vein for the IV.  It usually takes 3-4 tries, they usually end up in the back of the hand, and then I can’t move my (right) hand/arm for the entire infusion (roughly 2 hours) for fear the needle will pop out of the vein.  It’s minor, really.  I guess I’m just in a “whiny, complainy” mood today.  As for the drugs – good news there – I was approved for patient assistance/compassionate need from both pharma companies and am getting both drugs free for a year! 

Some more good/bad news – last time I had my blood drawn (at the end of June), one of my tumor markers had gone down (yay!), but the other one had gone up…..again (boo!).  I have another blood draw at the end of this month, and of course I’m HOPING for good news – I HOPE they both went down!  I have an appointment with Dr. Sprawls on 8/29.

And yet some more good news – we traded our Subaru (manual transmission) in on a Ford Focus (automatic transmission), and I think getting rid of all that shifting has helped my hip quite a bit.  This past week we also moved to a different campground – one with a swimming pool – and I’ve been doing self-imposed pool therapy/exercises daily, which seems to be helping significantly.  After only 3 days, I’m walking much better – still limping, still have pain, and still can’t do long distances – but there is definite improvement. 

Okay folks, I guess I’m done rambling for today.  Sorry I’m not in a very cheery mood today, but I’m very optimistic it will get better.  Have no fear, most of the time I’m still upbeat, positive, hopeful, and optimistic.  

One day at a time……live life to the fullest…….and enjoy every moment!  
 
 

7 comments:

Emma said...

Hi aunt Suzy - it's so good to hear from you, even on a "feeling-crappy" kind of day! I'm glad to hear about the little things, like an automatic transmission & having a pool, and I hope they continue to make life easier - sometimes little things are super important! I love you SO much! - Emma

Stuart said...

So good to read your words, Suzy. Know that we are thinking of you every day, sending positive thoughts your way. I hope the pain subsides and the swimming helps with your mobility.

We love you!

Donna and Stuart

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow is a new day, Suz'......and I know it will be a good one. Your attitude and stamina is amazing.....and it is what will get you through this. Wishing we could have some sister-time before October....just craving a big hug...oh, and a big glass of wine would be right after the big hug!! Thinking the best thoughts in the world for you right now.....!!
Love you tons!

Jean said...

We are thinking about you and loving you ALL the time, Suzy! Hope things are looking a lot rosier for you today. October - and our next get-together - can't come soon enough.
We love you!!!!!!!!! - Mom & Free

scc218 said...

Thank you all so much for your kind words and love. I sure do appreciate it! And I'm feeling a bit better today. Love you all, too!

Unknown said...

I have been thinking about you. At least there is some good news and you left out the good part where you don't have to sit and type all day. I don't think the whole needle/IV thing is wimpy at all. It hurts when people are digging around in your arm for a vein - it hurts really bad! Maybe we can go to lunch one day. I am going to have more time now because I will not be typing soon either. My last day of transcription is Aug. 29. I would love to see you. Hang in there Suz. I think about you all the time and wish you the best. If anybody can beat cancer, it is you. I know the bad days are hard especially if there are too many in a row. I will get in touch with you soon so we can go do something. Love, Jenny

apccool said...

Hi aunt Suzy,

Thanks for writing another update, allowing your geographically diverse family and friends to feel a closer connection to you! Glad to hear today was a better day, keep on being a champion!!!

Loving you lots,

Andrew (& Carrie & Brooklyn & Tribeca)