Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Phase 2

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.  ~Dan Rather


Today is the big day -- chemotherapy #1 at 1100.  Well, it probably won't start right at 1100 because I have to meet with the oncologist first.  Not sure how long that will take or how far behind he will be running, etc.  But I'm thinking the "poison drip" will start sometime around noon or maybe 1230?  Just a guess.  And I think it lasts a couple of hours.  Hope to be home by mid to late afternoon.

I'm feeling better than I was at my last blog post but still not back to "normal."  Lots of anxiety, fear of the unknown, terror, etc.  I'm hoping that I'm anticipating the absolute worst and that things won't be nearly as bad as I'm anticipating. 

My plan is to visualize the chemo meds as a little Pacman guy running all around inside my body gobbling up the cancer cells -- the demons -- while, of course, leaving all the good cells behind and intact!  Remember the old Pacman game?  It was so fun scooting all over the place gobbling up the dots.  Well, that's what I'm going to envision.....and I'm hoping that will make it easier to cope with this dreaded phase of the journey.

I'm also planning to shave my head when the hair starts falling out.  I have had some people say that it gives them some control over the process if they just shave their head right from the beginning.  However, I don't want to be too premature -- I'm still hoping for a miracle -- maybe I won't actually lose my hair?!  Dreaming, I know.  When it does start falling out, I'll probably just go ahead and shave it off (or, better yet, have somebody else do it).  I don't want to be shedding all over the RV or clogging the shower drain, etc.

I went on a "shopping spree" on Monday for all sorts of supplies that somebody had recommended on a website for people tackling chemotherapy.  Lots of Kleenex!  Not so much for the tears but for the constantly runny nose due to the lack of nose hairs!  Yes, I will be losing every hair on my body, not just the hair on my head.  Who wudda thought?!  I also went to the health food store and got some special toothpaste, mouth spray, and gum for dry mouth (a common side effect).  And "healthy" crackers for when the nausea sets in.  Can't remember what else I got.  Oh, a bunch of soft toothbrushes.  Someone recommended changing toothbrushes often because the mouth is a haven for bacteria and, with the compromised (destroyed) immune system, you have to take every precaution. 

I also got a prescription for EMLA cream -- a numbing cream to put on my port area before I leave for my appointment this morning.  The port site is still very sore to touch, so I would like it nice and numb before they start probing around trying to find where to insert the needle (the entire port is submerged beneath the skin).  How are they going to do that anyway?  I shudder to think.  And I have a prescription for some anti-anxiety pills, which I will also definitely take before leaving for my appointment.  And some anti-nausea pills for after the appointment.  Never had so many prescriptions in my life!  Eeeh gads! 

Well, I've been up since 0345, so I guess I'd better get some transcription done before we have to head over to Rockledge for my appointment.  I also need to pack my bag of goodies -- things to do while Mr. Pacman is doing his thing.  I will definitely take my Kindle, my journal, and a big bottle of water.  Maybe some of those "healthy" crackers?  I don't think I'll bother taking my computer, although they said they have wifi there.  They also have a 52-inch TV.  I wonder who gets to choose the channel?  I don't watch much TV anyway; I just hope somebody else doesn't want to watch soap operas or SciFi...LOL....

Hopefully I'll be back with more news later on today......  Thanks so much for all your positive thoughts, good wishes, prayers, love, support, caring, etc.  It means the world to me to have so many of you thinking of me!